The Week 1 Roommate Agreement Script (Before Passive-Aggressive Notes Start)

Okay so here's the thing nobody tells you: most roommate blowups are predictable by week two.

Not because either person is "bad." Usually because nobody defined the basics early, then both people started guessing what "normal" meant.

If you do one thing this week, do this: have one short agreement talk before the first conflict. Not after.

This is the script I wish freshman me had on move-in week.

Why this works

A roommate agreement is not a legal contract. It's a simple operating system.

When expectations are explicit, you argue less about tone and more about facts.

• "You're always loud" turns into "we said quiet hours start at 11:30 PM."
• "You never clean" turns into "trash is Tue/Fri and we rotate."

That shift saves friendships and grades.

Do this in 25 minutes (exact plan)

0:00-3:00 -- Set the tone

Open with this:

"I want us to have a low-drama semester. Can we do a quick roommate agreement so we both know what to expect?"

Keep it practical, not emotional.

3:00-12:00 -- Cover the six categories that cause 90% of conflict

Write answers in your notes app while you talk.

1. Sleep and quiet hours

• Weeknight lights-out goal?
• Quiet hours start/end?
• Headphones after a certain time?

2. Guests and overnight guests

• Is drop-in okay or text first?
• How many nights/week is okay for overnight guests?
• Any no-guest windows (exam week, early labs)?

3. Cleanliness and shared space

• What "clean enough" means for desk, floor, trash, sink
• Which chores are daily vs weekly
• Who buys shared supplies

4. Food boundaries

• What is shared vs never shared
• Labeling system (masking tape + initials works)
• Fridge cleanup day

5. Money and supplies

• Shared items budget cap (example: "$25/month each max")
• What counts as shared (toilet paper, hand soap, trash bags)
• Reimbursement app (Venmo, Cash App) and payback timing

6. Study and stress signals

• How to say "I need quiet" without creating drama
• What to do before exams
• How to handle "I had a rough day" moments respectfully

12:00-18:00 -- Lock in the defaults

Pick default rules now so you don't renegotiate every week.

Use a simple format:

• Quiet hours: Sun-Thu 11:30 PM-8:00 AM, Fri-Sat midnight-9:00 AM
• Overnight guests: Max 2 nights/week, heads-up by text before 6 PM
• Trash: Tue/Fri rotation
• Shared supplies: split 50/50, settle every Sunday

No perfect system exists. Clear beats perfect.

18:00-22:00 -- Build a conflict plan before conflict

Use this exact escalation ladder:

1. Mention issue same day, one sentence, no sarcasm
2. If it repeats, do a 10-minute reset talk that night
3. If unresolved after two reset talks, bring in RA as neutral third party

RA support is normal. It is not "snitching." It's what they're there for.

22:00-25:00 -- Save it and schedule a check-in

Put your agreement in a shared note titled:

Roommate Agreement - Fall 2026

Then schedule one 15-minute check-in two weeks later.

Most people skip this and wonder why things drift.

Copy/paste roommate agreement template

Use this in Notes or Google Docs.

Roommate Agreement -- [Semester]

1. Quiet Hours

• Weeknights:
• Weekends:
• Headphone rule:

2. Guests

• Drop-in policy:
• Overnight max:
• Notice window:

3. Cleaning

• Trash schedule:
• Floor/surfaces schedule:
• Bathroom/sink expectations:

4. Food

• Shared items:
• Non-shared items:
• Fridge cleanout day:

5. Shared Costs

• Monthly cap per person:
• Payment app:
• Payback deadline:

6. Conflict Plan

• First step:
• Second step:
• RA escalation point:

7. Check-In Date

• Date/time:

Budget reality (so this doesn't become a money fight)

Most roommate tension that looks "personal" starts with tiny unspoken costs.

Typical monthly shared dorm supplies:

• Toilet paper: $8-14
• Trash bags: $6-10
• Hand soap + dish soap: $6-12
• Basic cleaning wipes/spray: $8-15

Total shared basics: about $28-51/month.

Split two ways, that's around $14-26 per person monthly. Cheap compared with conflict.

Here's the move: set a cap on day one. Example: "$25/month each unless we both agree first."

What to skip

1. Waiting for the first argument to "finally talk"
2. Making rules in your head and expecting mind-reading
3. Writing vague rules like "be respectful" with no specifics
4. Keeping score in silence instead of addressing small issues early
5. Letting shared costs drift for six weeks, then dropping a surprise Venmo request

If your roommate avoids the conversation

Send this text:

"Can we do a 20-minute roommate setup chat tonight or tomorrow? I want to avoid awkward stuff later and get us on the same page early."

If they keep dodging, ask your RA for a facilitated check-in during week one or two.

That is a mature move, not a dramatic move.

10-minute action plan for tonight

1. Copy the template above into your notes app
2. Text your roommate to schedule the 25-minute talk
3. Pick a shared cost cap number before the conversation
4. Decide your non-negotiables (sleep, guests, cleanliness)
5. Book a two-week follow-up check-in on both calendars

Do this once and you'll prevent 80% of the dumb fights that wreck dorm peace.

And if you're first-gen and this kind of "unwritten rule" stuff feels impossible to decode: you are not behind. You just need a script. Now you have one.